Let's Get Real

“The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
    a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
    and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
    I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
    not as they pretend to be.”

~ Jeremiah 17:9-10 MSG

The key to managing your emotions is to acknowledge your real emotions ~ Julia Mateer, Life-Giving Leadership, A Toolbox for Leading Women

I like this quote by Julia Mateer, because we sometimes get so caught up in what we should or shouldn’t be doing or feeling regarding others that we never deal with our real emotions. A couple of months ago I was sharing some frustrations with a friend and mentor and said, “I’m trying to give grace and not make waves…” And that’s where she stopped me and said, “But it bothers you a lot when it happens.” When I said yes, she said, “Then say that. Say, ‘It bothers me’ or ‘My feelings are hurt when…’” She said if I never confessed and dealt with my real feelings, I wasn’t doing myself or the other person any favors.

God’s been dealing with me a lot this year, beginning very boldly on January 1, by telling me this would be a year of digging out any impurities in my heart. He went on to say that in order for me to receive the blessings and favor He would rain down, my heart had to be ready. What I’ve learned is that things that I thought were OK, even synonymous with being a redhead, are not any part of God’s design for me. Even though it’s been hard to hear at times, the one thing I can depend upon with God is that He’ll be “real” with me. And He wants me to be “real” with Him.

If you’ve been hurt by someone, you aren’t offering grace by side-stepping the issue.  Grace isn’t ignoring what happened; it’s not burying it under the rug or stuffing hurt feelings. Grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness enable you to say, “Those actions hurt me. But just as God has forgiven me, I choose to forgive you, relinquishing my right to punish you.” The pain might not go away overnight, and that’s ok. The first step toward freedom is acknowledging your real emotions and asking God to guide you the rest of the way.

©Heather Potts 2016