He Restores My Soul

Matthew 13:11-12 "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.

"As long as information remains a secret, hidden in obscurity, no on can prosper from it, no matter how powerful the secret or how might the person. But that person to whom it is made known, no matter who, will have access to abundance; to whom it is not revealed, even that which this person has shall be taken away," (Commanding Your Morning, Cindy Trimm, 11).

That's like my Psalm 23 experience. I grew up in a Christian home and I knew my mom loved God. She had pictures hanging in the house, many with scriptures written on them. There was one I remember specifically, because it was hanging outside my bedroom door. It was a picture with two little kids--cartoon kids, similarly looking to Precious Moments kids--and written in the background was Psalm 23. I grew up with that scripture ever before me.

A few years after I had moved out and was married, I was in a deep, dark pit of depression. I remember a good, solid month, if not two, when I questioned the love of everyone, including my God. I was really, really struggling.

The "chemical" reason for what was happening was simple: I had decided that I wasn't depressed anymore and, with the help of my doctor, weaned myself off of the anti-depressants I had been on for the past 16 years. And even though I had worked with my doctor to come off the medications slowly, my body still went through withdrawal. The real battle, however, wasn't about chemicals. The real battle was about my mind and it would be decided in the spiritual realm.

The day I declared victory over depression was the day the devil began to mount an attack against me. After reading Joyce Meyer's book, Battlefield of the Mind, I learned that not only was depression an attack of the devil, but it was something that I didn't have to continue to live with. I asked a close friend and the Women's Ministry Leader at our church to pray over me and I made the decision to believe that I had been set free.

The devil waited for about two weeks after I took my last pill before striking; it was just enough time for me to think that my body wasn't going to have any problems or side effects from no longer being on the medications. While I don't remember "the day" when the attack came, I know it hit hard. There were days of calling other Christian women for reassurance and then calling them back ten seconds after hanging up the phone, because I needed more reassurance. There were nights, what seemed like endless nights, of sobbing in my bed and feeling so alone, even though my husband was next to me. (Thanks for hanging in there, babe! Love you!)
I tell you all this to paint for you a picture, so that you'll understand the stark difference between the pit of darkness I was in and the bright, sunny summer's day I was about to step into.

One night, when I couldn't sleep, I pulled out our Study Bible and began reading scriptures on eagles. Since it was a Study Bible, there were notes on the bottom of the pages and cross-references in the margins. I followed one cross-reference to another and another and another, until I reached Psalm 23.

Psalm 23:3 was where God revealed an amazing truth and His promise to me: He restores my soul. Those four simple words changed everything. After reading those words, I cried happy tears, because I knew the end of this tunnel and my way out of this pit were in sight. I wasn't out of all the darkness yet, but I had hope and a promise from God. I knew that I was on my way out.

When I "got out," which was within two to three weeks after that night, I still clung to that promise as my shield and sword against the devil. And anytime since, when the devil has tried to attack me again in that area, I open up my mouth and say, "He restores my soul."

Let There be Light

The first words out of God's mouth were, "Let there be light," (Genesis 1:3). Why? He could have said, "Let everything be created," or, "Let's take care of the heavnly things and the earthly things and everything in between." Why did he start with, "Let there be light"? It certainly wasn't because God couldn't see in the dark. It probably wasn't because He was afraid of the dark. Why, then, were those God's first words? It's because, as Cindy Trimm in her book, Commanding the Morning, writes, "Light illuminates," (9). Why do kids have night lights? Why do you turn on the lights in your house when it's dark? Why are there streetlights in neighborhoods? It's because light illuminates. Light casts out many things, including darkness.

Darkness--the unseen, the unknown--causes anxiety and fear in many people. Why are they afraid? It's because they can't see it with human eyes and so it makes it harder for the human brain to comprehend that it will be OK. A pastor once said that fear is false evidence appearing real. If that's all fear is, then why is it so powerful? Why can it control the mind and paralyze the body without any proof of reality? Well, if light illuminates, then darkness conceals and somewhere in the back of our minds, we know that. That "knowing" or "un-knowing," as the case may be, is what produces the anxiety within us.

It could be that the reason God's first words were, "Let there be light," was to be a model to us. If we are believers and followers of God, then it stands to reason that we will follow what He modeled for us. the next time you're afraid and you're walking in a dark place, whether physically, mentally, or spiritually, speak to your situation and command as God did, "Let there be light."

Everything We Need

2 Peter 1:3-4 [God] has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us...He has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them we may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desire.

God has given us the tools we need to participate--to be a part of, to interact with, to function--in the spiritual realm, in God's presence with the Holy Spirit--so that we may escape the corruption int he world. I think God is using these scriptures to say to us: My child, my precious child, who I have chosen from all the earth, why do you keep living and frustrating yourself the way you do day in and day out? I have given you everything, every-thing, you need for your life on this earth--your human, temporal life--and for your time after earth--your time in eternity. I have given you all of these tools in your tool box. Open the box and strap on your tools, and begin to live outside of the pain and corruption of this fallen world and live in peace--in the peace you find in me.

We open up God's tool box and we find a flashlight--the Holy Spirit--to guide us along the path. sometimes the path is dark and we will not be able to see the way with our human eyes. We can only take one step at a time because that's all the light we are given sometimes. But that's ok, God only requires us to go one step at a time. This tool also has the unique function of a map and directions--most flashlights don't have that. The map tool shows our final destination--heaven--but not all the stops we'll have to make in between--such as marriage, new job, etc. The directions tool is cool, because it keeps us on our current path and if we listen to it, it will help us from deviating from the course. It says: turn left here, turn right now, keep moving forward.

We also find, in the toolbox, a hammer and a nail--Jesus--because sometimes you have to hang up reminders as to why you are on this journey and that you are not making it alone. These tools are also useful in breaking down walls. This isn't just any hand-held hammer, this is a power-tool hammer. This has some mighty force behind it to break down walls and other barriers that we have around our hearts and in our minds.

The last tool in the box is something out of the ordinary. The last tool is a coffee pot--time before our Lord. Why a coffee pot? The coffee pot does two things: it's the catalyst of the energy that gets you going everyday, and it's the reminder that if you don't have it, you will struggle to make it. Sure, there are plenty of people who go through everyday with out their morning "cup of coffee," but are they really enjoying their day? How many days in a row can they go on like that and still have peace? Do they have peace? It doesn't take much to get your daily dose of God's peace and wisdom. You can get in that morning cup of coffee.

God says He has given us everything we need to partake in fellowship with Him. I encourage you to open your toolbox and enjoy that time.