But God, I don't want to...

Have you ever been asked to be obedient? Have you ever been asked when you didn't want to, or in ways that didn't make sense? This past weekend, we went down to Coastal Community Church and heard Pastor TJ speak on serving and having a servant's heart. He touched on points like "being ready, knowing that there's never a good time to serve." He also talked about "materialism," thinking that "we" got "our stuff" for us, forgetting it was God who gave it to us.

I learned something new about Pastor TJ that I didn't know: he likes watches. In fact, he said he likes watches so much, that right before God asked him to do something that he deemed totally ridiculous, he had just spent a lot of money on a new watch. Long story short, God wanted Pastor TJ to give away his brand new watch to someone and he didn't want to. In fact, he argued with God about it, verbally stomped his foot and said no. Finally, God stopped asking and just said, "Give it!" Finally, Pastor TJ did and then had to go home to his wife to explain what happened to his new watch...

God does that with all of us. We've been given something, or we have something and it's our own. Why would we or should we give it away? Mine wasn't a brand new watch, mine was and old railroad tie, it was supposed to be representative of the nail that held Jesus to the cross. The value on my nail wasn't tied to the purchase price--for it had been given to me--it was tied in the meaning, for I received it after a sermon that began to set me free from the guilt and same of the abuse I endured as a child. Who else would want this nail? Who would need it? But, lo and behold, God called me to give it away. And I said what Pastor TJ said: No.

Here's the scene: We were sitting at a Bible study at a friend's house and there was a girl there and she and I didn't get a long swimmingly. In the middle of our study, God said, "I want you to give her the nail." My answer, "But God, I don't want to give her my nail." God said, "It's not your nail, it's my nail,; now give it away." Well, then the reasoning started, "I don't need to give her this nail. I can go to the store tomorrow and buy her a whole box of nails. She'll never know the difference." But God said, "I don't want you to buy her a nail. I want you to give her that nail. Now give her that nail." I bet you know what came next. Yep, I gave her my nail. She cried and I cried--I get very emotional. I sometimes wonder if she still has the nail or if she threw it away. But then God says to me: It was never about the nail, or TJ's watch, it's simply about your obedience to Me.

And that's what it's always been about, right? We tithe, not because God needs our money, but because He wants us to live in obedience to Him. And the greatest act of obedience was the one that set us all free: Jesus, hanging from a tree. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus' conversation wasn't quite the same as mine or Pastor TJ's, but He did ask God if what He's been called to could be passed on to someone else. Let me tell you, I'm glad that Jesus obeyed, as He's been commanded, aren't you?

Lord, I know we are only human and as such, we make lots of mistakes. But Father, I pray today that one of those mistakes won't be missing the opportunity to be obedient, the first time You ask us. Now Lord, I know that I've failed at this many times, and I know that You will allow me to keep practicing in this area until I get it right. Father, thank you for Your love and your grace and your mercy. It is in Jesus' Name that I pray. Amen.