Ever been in prison? Ever been bound in chains? What about chains you couldn't see, but you could feel? What about a prison that felt more like a hell instead of everyday life? Many have been there, but I don't know if as many have returned to tell about it. Prison can be anything from a body wrought in pain to the mind wrapped in confusion or in depression to an addiction. My recent prison was that of a body wrought in pain and the mind wrapped in confusion. But my God is breaking the chains and setting this prisoner free.
I prayed and believed and walked in victory for a good 24 hrs and now a spirit of confusion and condemnation has come upon me and I feel lost in it. I know that my God is bigger. Somewhere, I still know that my God is bigger...but then the pain attacks and it becomes so easy to back down. I wrote these words in my rejoicing and yet I struggle only three days later:
I was going after God and the healing I knew was waiting for me. I grabbed Brad by the hand and we went to our friends for prayer. I told them I wanted to be anointed with oil and prayed over. And they did. As my friend was praying for me, I felt my head rise up and my neck straighten out....This morning, I've had a little pain in my neck and a little pain in my shoulder and a little tingling down my arm. I think my time of being in total pain is over.
How did I write that on Sunday, but now on Tuesday, I'm hurting and fearful?
I spoke to Brad about it last night. We talked about it all weekend. He said he finally realized what it was like to be the one standing over me while I was the one in the bed, while I was the one in pain, and it scared him. He said I must hold on to the victory. He said that I know this, that I tell him all the time. He said that fear is nothing more than false evidence appearing real...it's false, it's fake, it's a lie from the pits of hell and I must cast Satan down and out of my mind. I must claim back for God what is His. How do you refute a lie? You speak the truth to it.
I have the mind of Christ, (1 Corinthians 2:16).
For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of power and of love and of a sound mind, (2 Timothy 1:7).
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up, (James 5:14-15).
The Lord has raised me up. I let fear grip me. People are always leery to believe something they cannot see. If they do not see the blood or the broken bones, they struggle to believe it is real. I was afraid they would call me a liar if I walked in, feeling better. Brad said last night, "Did not Lazarus die and was raised? Was he a liar? Did not Jesus die and was raised? Was He a liar? What about anybody else that Jesus healed? Were they liars? The world--the devil--wants us to believe that it was all a farce and that they were never sick to begin with." If I have to fight off the devil every day to claim my victory, then I will, because I know that "they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint," (Isaiah 40:31). And I know also that as I wait for the Lord's promise and the Lord's victory to take full completion, I am not the only one to wait, "See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord is coming near," (James 5:7-8). Waiting here is knowing that it's coming, believing that it's coming.
I need to remember my own words and the words of the Lord: My time of being in total pain is over because "the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up." Thank you, Lord, for your words this morning. I am walking in renewed strength. Thank you Father, for healing me. I'm going to walk it out until You have completed my healing. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
The Time Has Come
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things..."
That's a famous line from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, written in 1872. But whether the Walrus said it or the Bible said it, the time has come. The time has come for us to combine our faith with our deeds and let the world see that we are followers of Christ. For if five men all stand in a room, dressed in business attire, and smiling, how do you pick out the Christ follower? Four may say that there is a God, three may even say that they believe there is only one God. To them you say, "Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder," (James 2:19). The Bible says we are to draw men to the Lord through the light of Christ that is within us (see Matthew 5:16). How are we to do that if the world can't tell that there is something different about us to be noticed?
Some believe that the Lord will only be "noticed" or "heard about" if one is screaming from the pulpit. Others believe it is through great tenacity. The Bible tells us we are all given different gifts to reach the world for Christ in our own ways (see Ephesians 4:11-12). I have a friend who is neither loud or pushy, and still I see her reaching many for Christ. At a First Wednesday service, maybe 6-8 months ago, someone gave a testimony and said that it was the sweet spirit of my friend who comforted him when he passed through the front doors of our church. He said it was her caring smile that gave him hope. I have often felt that way about my friend. She is the quietest person I know. In fact, it was one Sunday morning, about four years ago, that I walked into Bayside for the first time and was delighted to see my friend, greeting people at the front door. She's never been pushy or harsh. She's always been still in a world that is constantly in motion. She is a light for Christ in a style that is uniquely all her own.
We live in a time where we're running out of time. From the day that Christ ascended to heaven, the time of the end has been drawing ever closer. However, even the Son of Man said He did not know the day or hour when the end would come; only the Father knows that, (see Matthew 24:36). The recent earthquake in Haiti, a friend's pulmonary tumor surgery, a grandma's blacking out spells all make us realize that today is today, and no one knows what tomorrow will hold. We can't wait until "tomorrow" or "some day" to make a difference and a stand for Christ. Today is the only day we know we will have. Today we need to stand out so that the world will be drawn to the One who gives eternal life, the One who gives us that hope and that peace that keeps us moving forward all while the wind and waves crash around us.
There is a song that Britt Nicole sings, called "The Lost Get Found," that speaks to this:
Hello my friend / I remember when you were / so alive with your wide eyes / then the light that you had in your heart was stolen / Now you say that it ain't worth staying / you wanna run but you're hesitating / I'm talking to me / Don't let your lights go down / Don't let your fire burn out / 'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe / Why don't you rise up now / Don't be afraid to stand out / That's how the lost get found
Don't be afraid to stand out. That's how the lost get found. Isn't that what Jesus said He was here to do? Isn't that what we are called to do? Aren't we here "to seek and to save what was lost," (Luke 19:10)? Jesus often talks about His "little ones," the ones who are lost. He loves and cherishes those who are "found," but He runs after--and calls us to run after--those who are lost. His heart's desire is that all who are lost would be found. Those who are lost won't be found by you if you're too busy blending in with them. God gave you unique gifts: He "gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers," (Ephesians 4:11). Even with that, the Lord said we are many parts of one body, (see 1 Corinthians 12:12). He made us man and woman. He designed us uniquely, but all in His image. We are here to do the work of the Lord. We are called by the same God, but with unique missions. My mission and my way of doing it is not the same as yours. But, we are all called to be the Light of the Lord in this dark world, so that those who are lost can all find their way Home.
That's a famous line from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, written in 1872. But whether the Walrus said it or the Bible said it, the time has come. The time has come for us to combine our faith with our deeds and let the world see that we are followers of Christ. For if five men all stand in a room, dressed in business attire, and smiling, how do you pick out the Christ follower? Four may say that there is a God, three may even say that they believe there is only one God. To them you say, "Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder," (James 2:19). The Bible says we are to draw men to the Lord through the light of Christ that is within us (see Matthew 5:16). How are we to do that if the world can't tell that there is something different about us to be noticed?
Some believe that the Lord will only be "noticed" or "heard about" if one is screaming from the pulpit. Others believe it is through great tenacity. The Bible tells us we are all given different gifts to reach the world for Christ in our own ways (see Ephesians 4:11-12). I have a friend who is neither loud or pushy, and still I see her reaching many for Christ. At a First Wednesday service, maybe 6-8 months ago, someone gave a testimony and said that it was the sweet spirit of my friend who comforted him when he passed through the front doors of our church. He said it was her caring smile that gave him hope. I have often felt that way about my friend. She is the quietest person I know. In fact, it was one Sunday morning, about four years ago, that I walked into Bayside for the first time and was delighted to see my friend, greeting people at the front door. She's never been pushy or harsh. She's always been still in a world that is constantly in motion. She is a light for Christ in a style that is uniquely all her own.
We live in a time where we're running out of time. From the day that Christ ascended to heaven, the time of the end has been drawing ever closer. However, even the Son of Man said He did not know the day or hour when the end would come; only the Father knows that, (see Matthew 24:36). The recent earthquake in Haiti, a friend's pulmonary tumor surgery, a grandma's blacking out spells all make us realize that today is today, and no one knows what tomorrow will hold. We can't wait until "tomorrow" or "some day" to make a difference and a stand for Christ. Today is the only day we know we will have. Today we need to stand out so that the world will be drawn to the One who gives eternal life, the One who gives us that hope and that peace that keeps us moving forward all while the wind and waves crash around us.
There is a song that Britt Nicole sings, called "The Lost Get Found," that speaks to this:
Hello my friend / I remember when you were / so alive with your wide eyes / then the light that you had in your heart was stolen / Now you say that it ain't worth staying / you wanna run but you're hesitating / I'm talking to me / Don't let your lights go down / Don't let your fire burn out / 'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe / Why don't you rise up now / Don't be afraid to stand out / That's how the lost get found
Don't be afraid to stand out. That's how the lost get found. Isn't that what Jesus said He was here to do? Isn't that what we are called to do? Aren't we here "to seek and to save what was lost," (Luke 19:10)? Jesus often talks about His "little ones," the ones who are lost. He loves and cherishes those who are "found," but He runs after--and calls us to run after--those who are lost. His heart's desire is that all who are lost would be found. Those who are lost won't be found by you if you're too busy blending in with them. God gave you unique gifts: He "gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers," (Ephesians 4:11). Even with that, the Lord said we are many parts of one body, (see 1 Corinthians 12:12). He made us man and woman. He designed us uniquely, but all in His image. We are here to do the work of the Lord. We are called by the same God, but with unique missions. My mission and my way of doing it is not the same as yours. But, we are all called to be the Light of the Lord in this dark world, so that those who are lost can all find their way Home.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Perspective
Perspective. That's the word my friend used. I was talking with a girlfriend last night who told me to put things into perspective. I really hate that phrase. I've always hated it. I don't know if I hate it so much because the person who said it is probably right, or if it's because I don't have the power to change my situation to where it's easier to have the better perspective. She did confess that it is easier to say that when you're not the person that something is happening to.
So, this morning, as I was doing my reading and praying, the prayer for today was to thank God for His unfailing love. And I don't know why it took that phrase for me to realize it, but it did. Yesterday, I received a call from a nurse case manager about my fall. She was asking me a whole bunch of questions, some were funnier than others. At one point she asked if I thought I could do the chicken dance. I kind of looked at the phone funny for a minute, but then said I probably could, it would probably hurt, but I probably could. She said good, that means I didn't tear my rotator cuff. We had discussed if I had held onto the railing as I walked up the stairs. I told her that I was holding on, but not tight enough to where I used that to catch my fall. She said it was a good thing that I didn't, because if I had, I probably would have torn my rotator cuff, which would have been a lot worse. Ever since the accident, I've been feeling stupid for not holding onto the railing. With all the questions that have come my way, I just felt that they implied that I should have kept holding on, and felt that I wouldn't have hurt myself if I had held on tighter. Now this woman said that I was saved from a far worse injury.
My God, who has loved me with an everlasting and unfailing love, saved me from an injury that would have been far worse. What an amazing God I have. This realization hasn't instantly removed the pain that I'm feeling, but I feel the rest of this journey will be easier to bear knowing my God saved me from something that would be far worse to bear. Thank you, Father God, for loving me so much. I still hate the phrase about having perspective, even if it is true. Thank you, Lord, for showing me that even if things don't always go my way, that you are still protecting me and watching over me. I love you, Jesus.
So, this morning, as I was doing my reading and praying, the prayer for today was to thank God for His unfailing love. And I don't know why it took that phrase for me to realize it, but it did. Yesterday, I received a call from a nurse case manager about my fall. She was asking me a whole bunch of questions, some were funnier than others. At one point she asked if I thought I could do the chicken dance. I kind of looked at the phone funny for a minute, but then said I probably could, it would probably hurt, but I probably could. She said good, that means I didn't tear my rotator cuff. We had discussed if I had held onto the railing as I walked up the stairs. I told her that I was holding on, but not tight enough to where I used that to catch my fall. She said it was a good thing that I didn't, because if I had, I probably would have torn my rotator cuff, which would have been a lot worse. Ever since the accident, I've been feeling stupid for not holding onto the railing. With all the questions that have come my way, I just felt that they implied that I should have kept holding on, and felt that I wouldn't have hurt myself if I had held on tighter. Now this woman said that I was saved from a far worse injury.
My God, who has loved me with an everlasting and unfailing love, saved me from an injury that would have been far worse. What an amazing God I have. This realization hasn't instantly removed the pain that I'm feeling, but I feel the rest of this journey will be easier to bear knowing my God saved me from something that would be far worse to bear. Thank you, Father God, for loving me so much. I still hate the phrase about having perspective, even if it is true. Thank you, Lord, for showing me that even if things don't always go my way, that you are still protecting me and watching over me. I love you, Jesus.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Essence
There is a book that is being studied in our church and has been for the past several semesters in small groups. It is the book, Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. I've seen the book on book shelves and seen other women reading it, but never really thought too much of it. I've heard friends talk about it, but friends talk about whatever they are passionate about at the time--I think all women do that. Well, it just so happened that my husband has really wanted to read the book Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge, for quite some time. As one of my friends explained it, "Wild at Heart explains why men are the way they are, but also who God intended them to be."
After about a year that Brad wanted the book, and still wanted it, I bought it for him for Christmas. He's been simply devouring the book and said that I needed to read Captivating and then we would switch. So now even my husband is making a big deal about this book, so maybe there's something to it. So I bought it the other day when it was on sale. I didn't start to read it right away. There was something almost intimidating about the book. I know it's funny. It's just a book, right? But I've read those kinds of books before. The kind that open your eyes to a new way of looking at the same old thing, but are truly amazing, and at the same time force you to make a choice: you'll either make a change or stay the same. I wasn't sure I was ready for that kind of a read. But I took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and opened up to page ix--the introduction. (Don't think that this will be a blog on the book as a whole...I'm on page 36.) I think I felt "safe enough" to read it, when in the introduction, the author said, "Rest assured--this is not a book about all the things you are failing to do as a woman," (ix).
So at any rate, I called today's blog, "Essence," because by page 36, that's what God said He created woman to be, His essence. God created woman to be a reflection of who He is relationally, His tenderheartedness, "who yearns for relationship with us. If you have any doubt about that, simply look at the message he sent us in Woman. Amazing. Not only does God long for us, but he longs to be loved by us," (28). On the next page, the author says, "[God] wants us to love him. to seek him with all our hearts. A woman longs to be sought after, too, with the whole heart of her pursuer. God longs to be desired. Just as a woman longs to be desired," (29). After reading the scripture and prayer for today and then reading today's The Word for You Today, I really felt that God was making a huge point in expressing that not only is He relational, He wants to be sought after and known intimately, even more so than one spouse can know another.
Today's scripture was from Daniel 11:32, "...but the people who know their God...," and the prayer is to Seek to know God more. The Word for You Today is entitled, "Alone with God," and is about not replacing God with a "relationship idol." God is relational to His core. He created women to show the world how to approach and begin to love on their God. The author of Captivating says, "Look out across the earth and say to yourselves, 'The whole vast world is incomplete without me. Creation reached its zenith in me,'" (25). Without bragging, I can say that the core of me is the essence of God.
After about a year that Brad wanted the book, and still wanted it, I bought it for him for Christmas. He's been simply devouring the book and said that I needed to read Captivating and then we would switch. So now even my husband is making a big deal about this book, so maybe there's something to it. So I bought it the other day when it was on sale. I didn't start to read it right away. There was something almost intimidating about the book. I know it's funny. It's just a book, right? But I've read those kinds of books before. The kind that open your eyes to a new way of looking at the same old thing, but are truly amazing, and at the same time force you to make a choice: you'll either make a change or stay the same. I wasn't sure I was ready for that kind of a read. But I took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and opened up to page ix--the introduction. (Don't think that this will be a blog on the book as a whole...I'm on page 36.) I think I felt "safe enough" to read it, when in the introduction, the author said, "Rest assured--this is not a book about all the things you are failing to do as a woman," (ix).
So at any rate, I called today's blog, "Essence," because by page 36, that's what God said He created woman to be, His essence. God created woman to be a reflection of who He is relationally, His tenderheartedness, "who yearns for relationship with us. If you have any doubt about that, simply look at the message he sent us in Woman. Amazing. Not only does God long for us, but he longs to be loved by us," (28). On the next page, the author says, "[God] wants us to love him. to seek him with all our hearts. A woman longs to be sought after, too, with the whole heart of her pursuer. God longs to be desired. Just as a woman longs to be desired," (29). After reading the scripture and prayer for today and then reading today's The Word for You Today, I really felt that God was making a huge point in expressing that not only is He relational, He wants to be sought after and known intimately, even more so than one spouse can know another.
Today's scripture was from Daniel 11:32, "...but the people who know their God...," and the prayer is to Seek to know God more. The Word for You Today is entitled, "Alone with God," and is about not replacing God with a "relationship idol." God is relational to His core. He created women to show the world how to approach and begin to love on their God. The author of Captivating says, "Look out across the earth and say to yourselves, 'The whole vast world is incomplete without me. Creation reached its zenith in me,'" (25). Without bragging, I can say that the core of me is the essence of God.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Weary
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint, Isaiah 40:29,31.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
We're on a 21 day fast--our church and others--and the pastors gave us a sheet of study scriptures and prayer for each day. I want to know how they knew? How did they know that I would need that verse today? I've read that verse before. I've written it down to encourage others. Today, it has encouraged me.
I fell last week and I was on the mend. I thought by this Tuesday I'd be back to normal, no problems, life can go on. Then I started physical therapy and the pain got worse. When I say worse, I mean worse than the original fall created. When I went back to the doctor, they gave me something that didn't agree with me, so I ended up missing more work and still didn't feel right. There are two things people who are close to me know about me: I don't tolerate pain well and I don't like taking pills. So, here I am at a crossroads. I'm weary of all of this medical treatment. I know you think it's only been a week, but when doctors look at me and say they don't know how to treat me or what medicines to give me, it feels like all the other times in my life that a doctor has said that. Can't figure out how to treat the redhead. Can't put our finger on what's wrong with her. Don't know how to fix her. 16 years of depression and probably about the same of endometriosis and God healed me of both. Thank you, Lord.
So now here I am with pain in my neck and my back that effects my arms and my legs and I'm frustrated. But then I read that verse, and I knew God was speaking to me. He said that if I believe on Him, trust on Him, hope on Him, and wait expectantly on Him, He will give me strength anew. If I believe, trust, hope, and wait on Him (vs. in Him), then I'm putting or leaning the full weight of myself upon Him and it is His responsibility to see me through. And He will help me to endure this time, this time of walking through a storm...and healing.
Lord, we all walk through storms at different times of our lives. We all walk through them, though they come in many different shapes and sizes. Father, I pray that when storms arise, we will turn back to this verse and remember that if we put the full weight of ourselves upon You, that You will see us through the storm and take us safely to the other side. Help us to soar on wings like eagles. Lord, I thank you and I praise you. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
We're on a 21 day fast--our church and others--and the pastors gave us a sheet of study scriptures and prayer for each day. I want to know how they knew? How did they know that I would need that verse today? I've read that verse before. I've written it down to encourage others. Today, it has encouraged me.
I fell last week and I was on the mend. I thought by this Tuesday I'd be back to normal, no problems, life can go on. Then I started physical therapy and the pain got worse. When I say worse, I mean worse than the original fall created. When I went back to the doctor, they gave me something that didn't agree with me, so I ended up missing more work and still didn't feel right. There are two things people who are close to me know about me: I don't tolerate pain well and I don't like taking pills. So, here I am at a crossroads. I'm weary of all of this medical treatment. I know you think it's only been a week, but when doctors look at me and say they don't know how to treat me or what medicines to give me, it feels like all the other times in my life that a doctor has said that. Can't figure out how to treat the redhead. Can't put our finger on what's wrong with her. Don't know how to fix her. 16 years of depression and probably about the same of endometriosis and God healed me of both. Thank you, Lord.
So now here I am with pain in my neck and my back that effects my arms and my legs and I'm frustrated. But then I read that verse, and I knew God was speaking to me. He said that if I believe on Him, trust on Him, hope on Him, and wait expectantly on Him, He will give me strength anew. If I believe, trust, hope, and wait on Him (vs. in Him), then I'm putting or leaning the full weight of myself upon Him and it is His responsibility to see me through. And He will help me to endure this time, this time of walking through a storm...and healing.
Lord, we all walk through storms at different times of our lives. We all walk through them, though they come in many different shapes and sizes. Father, I pray that when storms arise, we will turn back to this verse and remember that if we put the full weight of ourselves upon You, that You will see us through the storm and take us safely to the other side. Help us to soar on wings like eagles. Lord, I thank you and I praise you. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Monday, January 18, 2010
No Faith Chia Pet
Have you ever watched a kid in a candy store? So many choices. "What will I choose, what will I choose?" That's the question of every child with money in his pocket standing in the candy store staring at all the choices. Now, consider the parent whose child is in the candy store with money in his pocket. The parent lets the child make his choices, may even let the child buy everything that he can pay for on his own, possibly lets the child eat one piece of candy, but probably won't let him eat it all in one sitting. Why? There are several reasons. One being that it will make the child sick. Another reason might be that it's almost time for dinner. A third reason may be that the parent doesn't want to be up with the child all night long. The list could go on and on as to why the parent doesn't allow the child to eat it all in one huge gulp. The point, is that the parent knows best and overrules the child's desires and wishes and says "no."
Is God like that?
Consider for a minute.
You have a smorgasbord of options, desires, and wishes, which one, or ones, will you choose? Are they all "right" for you? I guess that depends upon your point of view. Your point of view might be different from your mother's point of view. Your mother's point of view might be different from your spouse's point of view. Your spouse's point of view might be different from your boss's point of view. And God's point of view might be different from them all.
We were discussing prayer for healing and victory over diseases last night, when my mentor cautioned me. She said we need to have faith in God and not faith in faith. Talk about blow-your-mind, not really sure what that means. So I asked her about it. Well, I'll confess that before I asked, I allowed myself to get into a tizzy trying to figure it out on my own--that didn't work. So, then I asked her about it. What does that mean? She said a lot of things, but the most important thing--or at least what finally made it make sense to me--is what faith in faith does.
I told her that I've been reading a lot of books that all said that if we had "faith enough" we'd be able be healed, to heal, and pretty much--in essence--to take care of whatever was needed. I said that it made me believe that if I wasn't able to do any or all of those things that I didn't have enough faith. She said, "Where does faith come from?" Our faith comes from God. When God allows us to go though things, those times or circumstances will grow our faith. But it should grow our faith, or trust, in God, not in how big our faith has become. There is nothing that we can do to "grow" our faith on our own. There is nothing we can do to obtain more faith. There is no Faith Chia Pet. Only God grows our faith. When we pray and believe we will get something--due to the size of our faith--then, in essence, we are saying, "Well, we can do this, God." When we believe that our faith is larger than God--and His Will--then we've brought God down.
She reminded me that there's a difference between God's Perfect Will and God's Permissive Will. 1 Corinthians 6:12 says, "'Everything is permissible for me'-but not everything is beneficial." We have free will. I can choose to do anything I want, but it may not be what's best. I can choose to pray for anything I want, but it may not be what God wants. As soon as I assume that I know better than God, there's a problem. Do you know what the difference between an elephant and an ant is? Distance of sight. The elephant can see much more than the ant. That's the difference between God and us. Sure, we can see a lot, but we can't see everything. Jesus said, "[You] will do even greater things than these," (John 14:12)... But Jesus never acted on His own. Everything He did was for the Glory and in the Will of the Father. When we put faith in our faith, instead of faith in our God, we not only get ourselves in trouble, we can negatively impact others and lead them to doubt God.
I pray that as I move forward, that I will remember that I live not for my will or my glory, but for God's. Thank you, Father, for showing me the difference between faith in faith and faith in You. Father, if I have made any to doubt you, because of something I may have said, Father forgive me and I pray that you would draw them back to you. Lord, as I draw closer to you, help me to discover more of what is Your will for my life, that when I pray, I will stand on Your desires for my life and not my own. Thank you, Lord, for giving me good friends who can teach me and lead me into a deeper relationship with you. It is in Jesus' Name that I pray, Amen.
Is God like that?
Consider for a minute.
You have a smorgasbord of options, desires, and wishes, which one, or ones, will you choose? Are they all "right" for you? I guess that depends upon your point of view. Your point of view might be different from your mother's point of view. Your mother's point of view might be different from your spouse's point of view. Your spouse's point of view might be different from your boss's point of view. And God's point of view might be different from them all.
We were discussing prayer for healing and victory over diseases last night, when my mentor cautioned me. She said we need to have faith in God and not faith in faith. Talk about blow-your-mind, not really sure what that means. So I asked her about it. Well, I'll confess that before I asked, I allowed myself to get into a tizzy trying to figure it out on my own--that didn't work. So, then I asked her about it. What does that mean? She said a lot of things, but the most important thing--or at least what finally made it make sense to me--is what faith in faith does.
I told her that I've been reading a lot of books that all said that if we had "faith enough" we'd be able be healed, to heal, and pretty much--in essence--to take care of whatever was needed. I said that it made me believe that if I wasn't able to do any or all of those things that I didn't have enough faith. She said, "Where does faith come from?" Our faith comes from God. When God allows us to go though things, those times or circumstances will grow our faith. But it should grow our faith, or trust, in God, not in how big our faith has become. There is nothing that we can do to "grow" our faith on our own. There is nothing we can do to obtain more faith. There is no Faith Chia Pet. Only God grows our faith. When we pray and believe we will get something--due to the size of our faith--then, in essence, we are saying, "Well, we can do this, God." When we believe that our faith is larger than God--and His Will--then we've brought God down.
She reminded me that there's a difference between God's Perfect Will and God's Permissive Will. 1 Corinthians 6:12 says, "'Everything is permissible for me'-but not everything is beneficial." We have free will. I can choose to do anything I want, but it may not be what's best. I can choose to pray for anything I want, but it may not be what God wants. As soon as I assume that I know better than God, there's a problem. Do you know what the difference between an elephant and an ant is? Distance of sight. The elephant can see much more than the ant. That's the difference between God and us. Sure, we can see a lot, but we can't see everything. Jesus said, "[You] will do even greater things than these," (John 14:12)... But Jesus never acted on His own. Everything He did was for the Glory and in the Will of the Father. When we put faith in our faith, instead of faith in our God, we not only get ourselves in trouble, we can negatively impact others and lead them to doubt God.
I pray that as I move forward, that I will remember that I live not for my will or my glory, but for God's. Thank you, Father, for showing me the difference between faith in faith and faith in You. Father, if I have made any to doubt you, because of something I may have said, Father forgive me and I pray that you would draw them back to you. Lord, as I draw closer to you, help me to discover more of what is Your will for my life, that when I pray, I will stand on Your desires for my life and not my own. Thank you, Lord, for giving me good friends who can teach me and lead me into a deeper relationship with you. It is in Jesus' Name that I pray, Amen.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Redeemer
There's been a lot going on and I didn't even realize it until it came to a head last night and then revealed itself this morning. I've always felt "held back" by something. Brad and I, in our marriage and our walk with God, we've moved so far along, but something is there, like a whisper that's too soft to be audible. You don't know what it is, but it's there. You ignore it, because you can't really hear it, so you pretend it doesn't exist.
Last night, in worship, I should have recognized that it was going to come barreling through when I wept during worship. The song said, "Redeemer, My Healer...that is who You are." I cried out to God with everything that I had within me. That is who He is and who I need Him to be.
Then, this morning, Brad and I were talking about how we both sense that there is this one area that always holds us back. We've recognized that it is fear. We both know that fear is nothing more than false evidence appearing real, but when you're in the midst of it, it's so hard to remember, because it does appear so real, that it's hard to see it as a lie. Brad looked at me and asked, "Where is Jesus?" If all we are looking at is the fear and the lie, then where is Jesus in that? We both promised to turn it over to God, to lift it up in prayer, and keep talking about it, so as not to "sweep it under the rug" until the next time things come to a head.
As I opened up my Bible to begin the daily reading, I flipped to Isaiah 43 and the words nearly leaped off the page. The Lord said, "Fear not for I have redeemed you...do not dwell on the past," (1,18). The Lord said that even though we've allowed this thing from the past to continue to pop up in our lives, we don't need to. He is our Redeemer. He has restored our lives and our bodies and our minds. He is, has, or will avenge the wrongs committed against us--but that is His job and not our worry or concern. He has paid the ransom for us and delivered us from evil. We need only to receive it. I asked Brad how we do that. He said we simply do it. We refute the lies of the devil and look to Jesus. We refuse to accept false evidence and only accept what God has for us, what Jesus offers us...freedom.
God said, "do not dwell on the past," my fears allowed the past to ride along with me. Lord, I'm turning these burdens, these issues, over to You. I'm pitching them away from me and leaving them at Your feet. Father, as I spend more time in Your Word, help me to remember the truth, that I am a new creation and I have been redeemed and restored and the past doesn't control me any longer. Thank you, Father God, for revealing Truth to me in Your Word today. I'm going to carry it with me. Thank you for being my Healer and, especially, my Redeemer. I love you Jesus. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
Last night, in worship, I should have recognized that it was going to come barreling through when I wept during worship. The song said, "Redeemer, My Healer...that is who You are." I cried out to God with everything that I had within me. That is who He is and who I need Him to be.
Then, this morning, Brad and I were talking about how we both sense that there is this one area that always holds us back. We've recognized that it is fear. We both know that fear is nothing more than false evidence appearing real, but when you're in the midst of it, it's so hard to remember, because it does appear so real, that it's hard to see it as a lie. Brad looked at me and asked, "Where is Jesus?" If all we are looking at is the fear and the lie, then where is Jesus in that? We both promised to turn it over to God, to lift it up in prayer, and keep talking about it, so as not to "sweep it under the rug" until the next time things come to a head.
As I opened up my Bible to begin the daily reading, I flipped to Isaiah 43 and the words nearly leaped off the page. The Lord said, "Fear not for I have redeemed you...do not dwell on the past," (1,18). The Lord said that even though we've allowed this thing from the past to continue to pop up in our lives, we don't need to. He is our Redeemer. He has restored our lives and our bodies and our minds. He is, has, or will avenge the wrongs committed against us--but that is His job and not our worry or concern. He has paid the ransom for us and delivered us from evil. We need only to receive it. I asked Brad how we do that. He said we simply do it. We refute the lies of the devil and look to Jesus. We refuse to accept false evidence and only accept what God has for us, what Jesus offers us...freedom.
God said, "do not dwell on the past," my fears allowed the past to ride along with me. Lord, I'm turning these burdens, these issues, over to You. I'm pitching them away from me and leaving them at Your feet. Father, as I spend more time in Your Word, help me to remember the truth, that I am a new creation and I have been redeemed and restored and the past doesn't control me any longer. Thank you, Father God, for revealing Truth to me in Your Word today. I'm going to carry it with me. Thank you for being my Healer and, especially, my Redeemer. I love you Jesus. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
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