Breaking Chains

Ever been in prison? Ever been bound in chains? What about chains you couldn't see, but you could feel? What about a prison that felt more like a hell instead of everyday life? Many have been there, but I don't know if as many have returned to tell about it. Prison can be anything from a body wrought in pain to the mind wrapped in confusion or in depression to an addiction. My recent prison was that of a body wrought in pain and the mind wrapped in confusion. But my God is breaking the chains and setting this prisoner free.

I prayed and believed and walked in victory for a good 24 hrs and now a spirit of confusion and condemnation has come upon me and I feel lost in it. I know that my God is bigger. Somewhere, I still know that my God is bigger...but then the pain attacks and it becomes so easy to back down. I wrote these words in my rejoicing and yet I struggle only three days later:
I was going after God and the healing I knew was waiting for me. I grabbed Brad by the hand and we went to our friends for prayer. I told them I wanted to be anointed with oil and prayed over. And they did. As my friend was praying for me, I felt my head rise up and my neck straighten out....This morning, I've had a little pain in my neck and a little pain in my shoulder and a little tingling down my arm. I think my time of being in total pain is over.
How did I write that on Sunday, but now on Tuesday, I'm hurting and fearful?

I spoke to Brad about it last night. We talked about it all weekend. He said he finally realized what it was like to be the one standing over me while I was the one in the bed, while I was the one in pain, and it scared him. He said I must hold on to the victory. He said that I know this, that I tell him all the time. He said that fear is nothing more than false evidence appearing real...it's false, it's fake, it's a lie from the pits of hell and I must cast Satan down and out of my mind. I must claim back for God what is His. How do you refute a lie? You speak the truth to it.

I have the mind of Christ, (1 Corinthians 2:16).
For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of power and of love and of a sound mind, (2 Timothy 1:7).
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up, (James 5:14-15).

The Lord has raised me up. I let fear grip me. People are always leery to believe something they cannot see. If they do not see the blood or the broken bones, they struggle to believe it is real. I was afraid they would call me a liar if I walked in, feeling better. Brad said last night, "Did not Lazarus die and was raised? Was he a liar? Did not Jesus die and was raised? Was He a liar? What about anybody else that Jesus healed? Were they liars? The world--the devil--wants us to believe that it was all a farce and that they were never sick to begin with." If I have to fight off the devil every day to claim my victory, then I will, because I know that "they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint," (Isaiah 40:31). And I know also that as I wait for the Lord's promise and the Lord's victory to take full completion, I am not the only one to wait, "See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord is coming near," (James 5:7-8). Waiting here is knowing that it's coming, believing that it's coming.

I need to remember my own words and the words of the Lord: My time of being in total pain is over because "the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up." Thank you, Lord, for your words this morning. I am walking in renewed strength. Thank you Father, for healing me. I'm going to walk it out until You have completed my healing. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.