Change Me

Do you have a favorite movie or book or song? Do you watch it, read it, or listen to it over and over again? I do--all of them. I love to watch my favorite movies over and over, even after I've memorized all the lines. After all, what's the point in owning movies, if you aren't going to watch them again? My favorite fiction author is Dee Henderson. She wrote two different series: The O'Malley series and Uncommon Heroes. When I run out of new books--and if I can't afford to buy another new one--I go back to the beginning of the series and re-read them in order.

This morning, I was sitting in the reading room (slash office slash laundry room) and up on the top shelf of the book case, I saw the Left Behind books. I had the brief thought, "I've only read those through once. I could read them again." Then I remembered that those were "meaty" reads, unlike my Dee Henderson books that are a very fast and easy read. I remember the Left Behind books being very convicting. They were very well-written and held my attention, but they weren't light-hearted at all.

As I thought about it some more, I remembered what my attitude was like back then. I didn't really have a servant's heart and I was quite selfish. In other words, I needed an attitude adjustment. My honest-to-goodness thought going into reading those books was, "What do I need to read this for? I'm saved. I know I'm going to heaven." Wow! I can't even believe I was so selfish and didn't get it. It didn't take me long to realize that those books were written for people like me, who needed an attitude adjustment and a wake-up call to the bigger picture, being if I didn't start to have a heart for those who were hurting and lost, there wasn't much point to what I was doing. Now, that doesn't mean that I changed overnight, nor does it mean that I've got it all together. I'm some where in the middle between where I was and "got it all together." That realization woke me up to what I could do: look inside of me and see what needed to be changed.

Today is day one of a 21 day fast that our church is doing, and we are joining up with several other churches across the nation. Some people are doing a "full" fast and the rest are somewhere between nothing and full. The point isn't so much "what" you fast, but more the "what you get out of it." Both are between you and God and the "what" you fast should be something that God leads you to before you begin. The "what you get out of it" part is what God speaks and reveals to you during this time.

Back to what I was saying about my attitude and the books. The prayer for today's fast is to ask God to change you from the inside out. I was praying that this morning when I looked up and saw the books and remembered that story. Then I realized a prayer to be changed from the inside out is not a one-time end-all-beat-all prayer. It's something to keep praying as you continue to mature and change. The more you pray it, the more God will reveal to you, and the more you are able to change. The more you change, the more you become like Jesus. Isn't that the ultimate goal? When people look at me, I hope they see less of me and more of Jesus.

Deuteronomy 29:29 says, "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children." Lord, change me from the inside out. Show me your ways, teach me your paths, and guide me in your truth, (see Psalm 25:4-5). I want to be more like Jesus!