Isn't it amazing that we say, "God will provide for____ (fill in the blank)," but we don't wait for God? Some say, "God has called me for this," or "God has called me for that," or "God has called me to do it this way..." Great! Awesome! Wonderful! You are supposed to follow that, why do you walk to humans with your hand out? We've all done it. We say God will get us through this (hint, hint, nudge, nudge). If God's gonna do it, why do we look to humans? I think it's because we know that God uses humans. So we think of the most likely sources (in our minds) and we wait expectantly on them, instead of waiting expectantly on God.
Let me give you an example from my life. My husband and I were flat broke, and so far from making rent, as well as the other bills, it was unbelievable. So we asked for money and the money was given, with the understanding that we would pay these people back x # of dollars over a certain period of time. Well, that was all well and good, until they said, "We'll bless you and you don't have to pay it back." Now, going into that time, my husband & I had become a lot closer to God than we ever had before--granted, we had such a long journey ahead of us, and still do--so we, before asking for help, said, "God will provide," but then asked the church for help. So, a couple months later (not sure exactly how long of a gap), we were in the same boat and so we went back to the source. Notice I used a small "s". That's because we didn't call upon God. We may have said, "God will provide," but, we didn't wait for God. Instead, we went back to the people who had helped us before.
So, the people who had helped us before, along with some other people from the church, sat us down and gave us the best blessing ever: They said no. There is a saying, "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for life." That's what they did for us. They said that they could keep continuing to do this, or they could give us the tools and we could learn to do it ourselves...and really lean on God. That day, they sat us down and gave me some instruction and gave Brad some instruction, and talked about some things that seemed crazy to us--all of which we have implemented, save one thing. Because of the other things that they instructed us in (and if you ever ask me one-on-one, I'll tell you), God has so blessed us by doing them, that we've never had to each work two to three jobs, to where we were just like ships, passing in the night, even for a season. Now, granted, we're still working through our debt and they are debt free...but we're OK with that, because diligently, we're paying off our debt, too.
Saying, "no" isn't the worst thing you can ever tell somebody. Sometimes (and it won't feel like it in the midst of it), it's the biggest blessing that you can ever give to somebody. Saying "no" and standing by what you say, is just setting a boundary in your life and theirs, if they choose to remain in relationship with you. Dr's. Henry Cloud and John Townsend have written a whole series on Boundaries. They have broken the larger subject into smaller, more detailed books. There's one for marriages, for kids, for work, etc. They say that a boundary is nothing more than a property line that shows where one thing ends and another thing begins, (Boundaries in Marriage, 17). Telling someone you love, "no" doesn't mean "I hate you." Rather, it tells them, "This is where my responsibility ends and your responsibility begins." Teaching someone that is really, really the greatest, but hardest gift. I had a wonderful girlfriend listen to me talk about my relationship--and all the struggles--with my family. One day she looked at me and told me that I needed to read this revolutionary book called Boundaries. And I did. And it was a challenge, a painful challenge at times, but so worth it on the other side. I honestly recommend it to everyone.
My hope for you today, is that if you feel compelled to say "no" to something, that you will explain to the other person why (calmly and respectfully), and then keep saying "no" at that same boundary line, so that both of you will learn and respect that your no means no. I pray that God will guide you into all things and all truths and if there's an area where He has called you, remember that He will provide, because He said He would.
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